When opportunity knocks

Last Friday, it was decided and all clear that I'm going to lead evening courses! I couldn't possibly be more exited, although a little nervous of course. We (I and the company wich hired me to do this) decided to start off with five occasions, just to feel the pulse a bit. That suits me fine, not too much preassure.

The topic?
How you work with yourself to get back to a decent life from being burnt out.
That is a thing I know about really well, since I've been there two times by now. The last time it nearly took my life before I realized how bad I really was, and if I can only get through to just one person and stop them before they end up in that hell, I think it'll be so worth it.
I'm on my fourth year in slowly coming back to life, and now is the first time I can breath and feel ok again for most of my time. Of course (as you all have read in this blog) I fight and battle with a lot of things, almost daily, and I might never come to ease with exactly everything. But I'm slowly, slowly working my way forward, and away from the earlier darkness that wanted to suck me right down to hell once more.
Unfortunately, I have began having panicattacks again. Damn, it was almost eighteen years ago since the last one, and I don't have to tell you that they are not welcome, right? I hate their guts so badly, but I deal with them as much as I possibly have the strength to. I know perfectly well where all of this sh*t is coming from, but I don't exactly know how to avoid it. Guess time will tell, but I'm not planning on letting these attacks rule my life forever.
Well. This teaching thing is coming to me in the right moment, especially now when I feel low. If others have this confidence in me, I will have to have that too.

I never ever thought that I would teach again, but here I am, looking forward to it all. The planning of this course is by me alone, I get free hands to plan the most of it, but my upcoming "boss" is the one with the last word on my plans. It feels very nice to not have to take care of it all completely by myself this time (I'm fairly used to do exactly every little detail by myself, always...)
So far, I just have a  basic plan with all, but I very well know in wich direction I want it all to travel. And most of all - the people attending this is very interested, eager to learn and has a good variety of ages amongst them. Just lovely!
One other thing that feels great at the moment is that I have gained some confidence in my scills once again. Long time no seen... I know that I'm good at teaching, I know that I'm good with people (although I prefer not to be around others all that much in private), and most of all - I know I can help others dealing with the same hell that I've gone through.

This is just a short update on my life at the moment, more to come later.
See ya <3